imperfections

It's been a while since I last blog and many thoughts are needed to be decoded. I was furious in the fast few days. I have had this guy that I know I'll give my all, I loved him so fast that I didn't realize I have nothing left for myself.

Well that's me. Karen, who's been seeking for the right guy. Not probably the perfect guy but at least a guy who tried to be somehow perfect to keep the relationship alive.It's been a loaded month's that has passed.Still I can't and Still I don't know where to start to finished things that has to be finished.I became too irresponsible that I can't control myself from failing. I know, failing is common but this failure of mine was too hard and too far from heavy.One lesson I learn, that telling the truth isn't always good and telling a lie isn't always bad.sometimes we tell lies to keep ourselves alive. I always knew that some day it'll be fine and someday things well fell up on the right place. Maybe not now or not as fast as we wished it'll happen but someday, maybe in God's will.

Too many problems has surpassed me. Too heavy for me to carry. Too much pain has caused me.I just don't understand why, why PEOPLE you barely even KNOW would waste time just to make you fall on your deepest fall. I know, this was ordinary. DRAMA;LIES;BACKSTUBBING yeah that's teenage life. It's always nice to know that some will take time discouraging you, cause you know your the BEST if people you don't know HATES YOU. But it's quiet annoying that they just burst your bubble and then came out of nowhere and then BOOM! your busted! I find it hard to accept, the fact that HE, whom I know I can go through pains are the one who's on the first line to disbelieve you. You know I can carry all the issues out, but NO! if i knew that He's the one who doesn't believes you and then just let you drown into deepest. Just so you know what's happened to me. Just so you know how I tried to clear things up. Just so you know how much I longed to be hear.

I'll accept whatever they say about me,either it's negative or positive. Cause I know that God's watching them and me. I may occur imperfections in my past, It's my longing of revenge that caused me so much pain. But still I stood up, and walk with chin's up. Cause I know, this is my imperfections. It it's not reasonable to judge one's worth just because of those. It's not reasonable to grieve.. I'll carry this on my own. If love can find a way., love will always will be there.


We should always try to remember that, we should have acceptance and forgiveness even to those who've sins to us. I won't Spell on that gurl who've messed up on me. It's her, she. who can always say whatever she wanted to. But one thing's for sure I know that's true, I never joined any groups or sorority. I gave myself to only one guy I always tried to keep. And I never flirted when I wished to flirt. Love me or hate me. neither ways I forgive you.

One darn thing about me, is that no matter how painful it is no matter how deep's the pain he caused me. I'm still in to him. I still can't resist what my heart tells me, I still can't get it over. I still eat my pride for him. Wherever I go, Whatever he's done to me. I'm still in love with him. If he only read this, I hope it'll clear things up to him. I'm hoping for the sun, I'm still hoping he'll pick me up. I can no longer endure pains. I became so weak that I even gave all my hopes to nothing.

All I ask is Settlements and be there for me, when I'm on deepest. And then Love me truthfully, love me for that's what you feel for me, not for what you tell me. I wasn't asking for the world. All I ask is LOVE that never ask, love that never see's imperfections as insults. I know, you can never be proud of me. I know it's tpp far for reality. But that's all I wished For Christmas













P.S "Take chances
-- Karen