too much to ask

So I went at gateway, Sm shoemart and ali mall just to look for this meyer's book. I was so desperate to buy it but all book stores are out of stocks. Depressed na depressed na kase ako sa mga nangyayare kaya eto, gusto ko nlng idaan sa pagbasa ng libro hoping na after matapos ang isang libro may totoong edward cullen na lalabas sa mundo ko. Haha.. katawa lang. I just wonder where did Meyer got all her ideas of a real guy which's made to be just for fiction things.

There, I was about to buy a stuff toy at blue magic but I changed mind. I want something for my room/bed sana para may ma-cuddle ako pag matutulog na ko since I don't have a room mate. But, naaaah I did'nt buy stuff toy.
The whole day was a crap. Why? first; I did'nt have the book that I was looking for and second; I don't have a load. eh di sana si jhay ung kasama ko. Haha Well too late, it's done. i'll find for that book again tomorrow. But, I'll find for it alone cause I wont ask trebs to come with me.Come what may, whoever wants to come with me then it's an open invitation. Maybe, I'll go shopping nalang. Haha

Hai. * sighs* I missed him already. I missed everything about him. How he mad me smile even on his most corniest jokes or simply on his small "kakengkoyan" But it's gone now. That's gone now and I don't know if that's gonna come back again. I don't have the guts to say I miss you. i don't know why. Maybe, I just got exhausted of things around me. kahit naman siguro sino maeexhaust. Especially when your showing off your YOU your whole and yet you don't see appreciations and in return all you'll hear is doubts about your "PAGKATAO"


sobrang hirap kase na kinquestion ung pagkatao mo. Ok lang sa ibang tao, kung ibang tao. Pero, hindi naman sya basta basta ibang tao lang eh. Mahirap kase na eto ka na nga eh, pero kahit anong gawin mo sa sarili mo WALA. Ganun pa din.. Kaya siguro ganito na din ako. Hindi na ko malambing, hindi na ko nakakapglambiong. NAKAKALIMUTAN ko na ung salitang LAMBING. nagiging bitter na ko kahit hindi ko naman gusto. Pano ko ba ipapaintindi sayo? pano ko ba ipaglalaban ung sarili ko? kung mismong ung lakas ko hindi naniniwala saken. Andun sya.. nagpapakaduwag..


I just remember the movie "Second Chance", sana ganun kadali parang pelikula.. pwede mong idirect kung anung ending.. kung anung umpisa.. parang pagsusulat ng script. Sana ganun kadali.. para hindi ganito kasakit.


"IF YOU HAD ME AT MY WORST, THEN YOU CAN HAVE ME ON MY BEST"

siguro right now.. yan nlng muna masasabi ko.Ito nalang yung way ko para maexpress lahat ng gusto kong sabihin atleast ang blog walang feedbacks. Walang "hindi ako naniniwala" andyan lang para makinig saken.
This is the only thing that's not hurting me atleast on the simplest ways.