when it rains

I just got home, I was with him a while ago because he went to shop a bit. Surely Christmas is everywhere, anywhere you look you can see group of friends and families rejoicing.I thought this whole shopping thing with him would be fun.But really, I can tell that SOMETHING has really changed. something I don't know and I can't tell. Something I want to know, Something I want to ,put end.Something I want to vanished for an instance, it bugs me.mararamdaman mo naman yun ehh.. hini naman ako manhid, para hindi mapansin yun.. an now it really affects me. Even the sky is crying for me, The rain suddenly pour.I no longer don't now what to do.I don't want to loose this relationship I have with him.But I guess, it'a not right to grieve, it' not right to plead. I gave so much for this. wala naman akong magagawa kung hindi na nya ako mahal.. isa lang magagawa ko, maghintay na sabihin nyang mahal nya ko.


I'm afraid and I fear, whatever's gonna happen next. I fear that maybe, maulit yung nangyare saken nun.. ayoko na, sobrang sakit na. He can no longer be proud of me. He can't. that's one thing I know for sure.How?
Ang hirap pala na ikaw lang ung lumalaban.. ung ikaw lng ung nagmamahal sa isang relation.. na ikaw lang yung nagbibigay ng importance.. Just to keep the relationship alive.


What will I do to keep this when I'm the only one whose giving importance to this. When I was the only one whose giving LOVE. I want to ask him DO YOU STILL LOVE ME? but I just can't. The words were stuck on my mouth that I can't verbalize. Cause the fact here is I'm afraid, His answer will be NO. I want to know but HOW? pano ko malalaman? pano ko mararamdaman? ng hindi ako nasasaktan?

PLEASE. LET ME KNOW. I don't want to get hurt. sobrang sakit na nga nung mga narinig ko tapos masasaktan ulit ako? hindi ko na kakayanin.. hindi ko makakaya na with just one snap of a finger MAWAWALA lahat.


I just want to know the truth. PLEASE.